Monday, May 4, 2009

The Fear in Modeling; Some of the Scariest Part of the Business

There are a lot of things that can appear to be scary but they aren’t at all, and then there are things that you would think would be the least scary that really get to you. Here are a few I found pretty scary:

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of the words “scary” and “modeling” is a model apartment during season, or even more nightmare-ish, model apartments during Fashion Week. Let’s see...back when I was with Trump Models in NY, they had this model apartment with two rooms and one bathroom. There were about 6 bunk beds (I am not kidding) in the rooms and around 15 models running around like crazy. Sometimes it would slow down to about 10 girls; but nonetheless, it was insane. We all had similar castings, fittings, and "go sees," so the ONE bathroom got old quick. The only easy part about that was when you’d pack to leave. Your suitcase would be half empty (from missing clothes), so you would have no problem packing to go home. That last experience at Trump was my last time at a model’s apartment, now it is fun as a memory, but nothing I would ever do again.

The second thing I can think of is kind of fun, but always scary at first. You always have to be up for drastically changing your look. In the modeling world, you are more of a mannequin than a person, so you have to update your style and overall look to fit in with each particular season and/or client. I remember the first time I changed my hair. It was down to my waist and whitish blond - never been dyed, just natural blond. My agency wanted it dark brown and shorter. So I went for it and did the dramatic change. In the end I liked it, but it took a while to get used to. Now it’s not so scary to me anymore, I have to talk myself out of wanting to change my looks all the time!

Another scary feeling kind of goes hand in hand with the last one I guess, because in modeling, your appearance is your job. But, I was always kind of scared and nervous when my agency would talk to me about what I needed to change or improve. Sure it was helping me, but it was always hard to hear. It could have been as small as,

"you need to lose a centimeter on your hips or waist”
"Ok, you’re too thin, your hipbones are protruding too far out.”
“You need your teeth fixed.”
“Here’s my dermatologist, go see him immediately.”
“Where did you get that dress? It’s horrible, I never want to see it again.”
There will always be something they try to improve, which can be good and even helpful, but hearing it can sometimes be scary - at least to me. This is especially true when it has something to do with something you can’t really change (well if you don’t want plastic surgery), like your nose (or mine). But, in the end, all these things that get your nerves and emotions worked up, usually end up helping you in your career.

Something that happens to me a lot, because I am a model, is I will “randomly” be selected for things. For example, public speaking, which scares the hell out of me! I remember the first time I was chosen out of a crowd of at least 5000 people. The lady who called me up told me I needed to sell the entire crowd on a McDonald's hamburger in 30 seconds. I will never in my life forget this, because it was supposed to help me be better in boldness and public speaking, but it was so embarrassing to me, and now when I do anything that has to do with pubic speaking I automatically remember it and laugh. It had a horrible outcome. I mixed all my words up, and was shaking the entire time. So now when I have to get on a microphone, I picture this little 13 year old (me) on a stage staring at thousands of people, knees shaking, talking about how juicy and delicious a hamburger it is, and I laugh. Unless of course I get to scream into a microphone, which has never been a problem for me...

The last thing I can think of that's always scary; even if it’s fun, is to pick your outfits mainly for special events. You never know what others will think of what you've picked out and it reflects upon you. Once again, since it has to do with your appearance, you get criticized more often than anyone else because you're a model. I mean unless you're Kate Moss, trying out your own ideas of fashion can be very scary. On the other hand, I love playing around with fashion, but I stick to more casual, simple clothes, rather than amazing fashion pieces because I am too nervous putting things together myself, and I honestly feel I should leave that up to the amazing stylists.

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